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life update

Posted on 2007.07.26 at 17:07

i found out what got for uni last semeter:
a credit and 3 fails...

2 i knew i was going to get, but the other one was a disappointment. businessy type subjects are hard... oh well, in the past :P

im only doing pat time uni this semester, which will make things easier and allow me to pursue other important things, so i can actually proceed in life. It bores me at the moment, im not fulfilled at all, and i dont know what i want

thats why i need some spare time to get my liscence, and get a REAL job, not this macca's shit! 

oh yeah, and only 11 months and a week before i can play football again ^_^

apparantly im recovering from my knee reconstruction in textbook form, which is good news. Oh and for those of you who dont know, they found a tumor in my knee :S benign ofcourse, or else i wouldnve known about it :P (that means no cancer ;-)

ps: i wonder if anyone reads my things anymore?

im down again!

Posted on 2007.06.12 at 23:41
Current Mood: confusedconfused
well... i thought this was gonna be my year... now im down again, and for those of you who know how injury prone i am, its probably no surprise :P

the knee this time!!! argh! possibly the worst joint for a footy player to injure! well thats what i get for putting 115kg on the joint, lol. 

About 9 weeks ago i landed on it awkwardly it kinda bent sideways... club doctor said 'ah its just a bad sprain' and a physio i saw said 'just knicked the cartlidge a bit, but no problem'... so after 8 weeks of recovering (i couldve healed a broken bone in that time) i finally felt ready for a game... i was going fine, even though i was a bit unfit, i still felt ok, so i played and then at the end of the game with about 10 minutes to go i just collapsed on it adn hurt it again... compared to the last time i injured it i could walk better but it hurt alot more... so i saw my local gp... he said 'no sign of ligament tears, but theres a torn cartlige... go see this specialist'... so i saw the specialist... in 2 seconds he looked at me and simply said 'torn cruciate ligament there'... shocked as i was, i then asked 'do i still have cartlidge damage?'... hew responed by saying 'thats the least of your troubles'... damn... so a reconstruction it is...

this is horrible, ive had so many injuries, and at im only 18. i have compiled a list of my injuries in my life for those who are interested to know what ive been through and then shower me with sweet pity :D

age 8: 

tendonidis in my achilles (related to growing pains)... sore heels on both feet for many years

age 9-11
*i managed to have a couple of good years of playing football, including when i was playing in a team above my year level as ruckman! :O lol

had some heel pains

age 12: 

badly broken arm (was very mangled, caused a highly visible lump in my arm), required surgery

age 13: 

new growing pains emerged in my knee called 'Osgood Schlatters Disease' (this is when shin bones grow too quickly to solidify, and muscles cause stress to the top of the shin bone under the knee where the top ligament is attatched... xrays showed that damage was so bad, the bone was splintered and the ligament had tearing)... had some hamstring problems... Osgood Schlatters also began developing in my other knee

age 14: 

Osgood Schlatters was still there, and the other knee was worse than the first knee... hamstring problems still around, actually pulled a hamstring (not a tear, dont get confused, nowhere near as bad :P)

*not a horrible year, i mostly played at full forward, ended up kicking 3rd most goals for the team

age 15: 

some hamstring problems still lingering... needed reconstructive surgery on my finger from an injury i did 2 years ago (never new the ligament in my finger had detatched completely :P... didnt interfere with footy season as i had the surgery at the beginning of the year)... broke collar bone during a school ski trip on first day skiiing, was the worst pain i have ever experienced in my life (bone had cleanly broken, doctors didnt see need to correct with surgery, so it healed on an angle with a large lump on the spot it broke... still causes me pain today...)

*on a happy note, despite missing the last 4 games of the year, and another during the year coz of a sore hamstring ( 5 in total), i managed to place 3rd best player in the club votes :D. shame... i couldve won :P

age 16: 
*started year good, having 6 goals in 3 games while playing full games in ruck,  had 2 games as first best on ground ( do i wanna brag much? lol, i need to, i have very little else to show for my name!)

in the 5th game of the year i got a mighty kick to the shins, had a blood blister on my bone aswell as a tiny little fracture... just as i was about to start again i rolled my ankle at a party, doctor said 'bad sprain'... 10 weeks later, hurt ankle again, different doctor said '3 torn ligaments' :O, so i needed ankle reconstruction

age 17:

needed the surgery on ankle right at beginning of year... played a game half way through the year, injured ankle again (didnt go to doctor again, just let it heal... it healed perfectly by end of year)

age 18:

the damn knee injury... like i said before... and now a reconstruction awaits me in the future...

that will bring the tally of major surgeries to 4 by the age of 18... sad

the annoying things is that i love to play so much, and i actually have the skills to be someone... i have so much potential, but i cant say anything about it, coz ive never had teh CHANCE to prove it... this is postponing my success, theres no doubt in my mind that i can reach afl, and that is one bloody awesome career - no long weeks of working for shit all money, and what is more valuable is the respect u get for entertaining the millions who love to watch footy so much... 

please wish me luck in the future, and have faith in me :P

fate vs desire

Posted on 2007.05.31 at 12:16
Current Mood: calmcalm

Most people believe in fate, its hard not to. The way it works is something happens and it can’t be changed, no matter what. Fate seals itself in time; something has happened and therefore was always meant to happen.


But when we speak of fate we usually question the contents of the future. There is no way of telling what the future holds, and as it hasn’t happened yet, it is just an empty page, ready to be written on when time passes it by. So can we alter what is going to be written on those pages? Who knows for sure? But the fact is it hasn’t been written yet, so we can assume yes. And that’s what the answer is, because we do it everyday, every minute. Every action we take and decision we make adds a new and unique sentence to the writings of life. We are not bound to a script, we have free will.


But what I am trying to say is that because we don’t know of the future, how can we mold the contents of the future to fulfill our desires? Educated guesses? Instinct? I think that instinct is more important, but using a good educated guess will improve the effectiveness of instinct a lot. Write this down: one VERY important thing in life is to THINK. Analyze situations; study BOTH SIDES of a situation. Understanding is an important part of being happy and making good decisions. But this still doesn’t necessarily mean we can get what we want.


Fear is what keeps me from using instinct. Fear of my instinct failing me. How long do I postpone what my heart is trying to tell me? What am I really afraid of? How much longer can I wait for? How much longer will things wait for me?


I have been brought to another question. It constantly plagues me. What if I can never get what I want? Puzzling… I think we have all come along this question. Personally, I choose not to accept a life without fulfillment. How can I? What else would I have if I don’t have what I desire? I have hope; the human drive that pushes us to our goals, and also a significant component in finding love. The more you want something, the harder you will work to get it.


I wish I knew how to mold the future for sure, but maybe that’s too much power for one person to have. I don’t deserve precognitive abilities when nobody else has them. So what we must do is accept what happens, our mistakes aren’t our faults because we can never tell for sure how our actions will affect the future. But please, never get discouraged from trying. Your excuse is ‘you’re only human.’




Thanks for reading, I hope you've learned something.

Posted on 2007.05.31 at 10:56
Current Mood: happyhappy

that is all...



Posted on 2007.05.28 at 22:05
Current Mood: dorky
hello i have live journal! i dont know why :P

i guess coz myspace is annoying, and i would love people to know the REAL me, although im slightly paranoid about releasing personal information on the internet, what the worst that could happen? *shift eyes*

look forward to some real posts from me in the future...